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Conflicting Motivations

Like you, I am on my personal journey to smooth my rough edges so to speak, and be the best “me” I can be, moment by moment. So far, I have learned A LOT! Most importantly, I have learned that my journey is for me… it is not for my family, friends, or clients, even though I desire to support each of them in the best and most appropriate way possible. When I experience struggle in any way, it is an opportunity for me to learn something, build mastery, and gain strength. And another thing I know about me is that if I did not have those opportunities… if everything were always “easy”, I would get bored… wouldn’t you?? As you might have noticed, most of my blogs are about working through those opportunities, and the resulting outcomes.

Future closet / temporary office

Today’s blog is about one of those opportunities that I recently experienced. Quite frankly I am still working through this one… conflicting motivations! We are motivated in general by things that bring us to some level of satisfaction or completion, whatever that might mean for each of us. For me, I am motivated by completing physical projects at home… one of my favorite projects was creating a walking path at our home in Poland Spring in the early 2000’s, and the outcome was gorgeous if I do say so myself! Currently my husband and I are building a new home… while he does most of this work, I am able to help with painting and some other “gopher” tasks to support him. I am also motivated by the possibility of helping my clients with their own breakthroughs, and whatever I need to do to encourage my clients to “find me” and open up to working with me.

And there you have it… my current motivation conflict:

  • On the one hand, we are at a pivotal time right now in our earthly civilization, where we have tremendous opportunity for an energetic and spiritual shift. We have seen this through the recent and current chaotic period around our planet, and have been aware of the coming of this opening for some time through our anticipation of the Aquarian Age. I know that I have personally been going through my awakening on many levels, and have seen this with clients. “Strike while the iron is hot” so to speak, while we are open to change and “malleable” (like hot iron), the opportunity is now, like no other time in my lifetime, to help myself and others shift to our desired form, energetically speaking. Who knows how long we will be in this open and malleable state? I sure don’t know, but I do know the opportunity for all of us is here “now”.

  • And on the other hand, I am personally at a time where we are building our “forever home”. It’s so exciting for me! My heart pulls me to be there for every step, helping anywhere that I can put my mark on that place where I intend to live for the rest of my life, and that hopefully we can pass on to our kids and grandkids.

When my heart is pulling me toward a paintbrush, but my brain is pulling me toward my PC to reach out to all of you, what to do, what to do?!?

Here is how I am making peace with myself.

  1. The first step is always some sort of acknowledgement. We hear “Step 1: Admit you have a problem”. But I don’t see this as a problem. Not really. It is more like a puzzle that needs to be solved, and this girl LOVES puzzles! So, my step 1 is that I am acknowledging that I have a puzzle to solve. ***Where will I choose to focus my time first? Or how will I choose to balance my time?***

  2. Love myself. This might seem like an odd second step. But built into “love” is patience and compassion. What would I tell someone else in this same situation? I would say “follow your heart… there is no one right answer; there is no wrong answer”. ***Option A: My newsletter / client email. ***Option B: Painting the woodwork.

  3. Consider the consequences for self and others. All behaviors have consequences on some level. Some we perceive to be “positive” (or desirable / helpful), and some to be “negative” (or undesirable / hurtful). (There’s a whole host of stream-of-consciousness for me here… the pros and cons of getting my newsletter out today vs. next week vs. never… of getting the painting started / completed today, or when could I work on it next…) ***CONCLUSION: No significant negative impacts to anyone regardless of which choice I make. The worst thing that could happen is “delay”, but no doors will be permanently closed. Further validation that there is no wrong answer! Yay! ***

  4. Follow my heart. But wait. What? I already said that… in Step 2. Yes… but then I chose to let my monkey brain process it a bit in Step 3. After all, I am not perfect. I still have a bit of a need to let my ego play with the puzzle too.

So what did I do?? I picked up the paint brush, a damp rag and sandpaper, and put on my ratty painting clothes. I followed what my heart was pulling me to in the moment. I chose to put this blog, the newsletter, and all electronics out of my head for a few days. Did you notice the newsletter came out a week late this month? No, I didn’t think you would. Are you sad or hurt that it was published “late”? Again, no I didn’t think you would be. And I love how the woodwork is turning out! It makes me happy, and feel grounded. (I will be sharing photos on social media once the rooms are “done”.)

It's all about balance, and taking care of “self” first. Which, in the long run, will equip me better to take care of all of my other motivations.


How about you? How do you resolve your inner arguments and address your competing motivations? I invite you to log in and share your experience and perspective.

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